This Year is the Year
Every year I tell myself, “This is going to be the year!” And every year I fail.
What makes this year any different? There really isn’t much of a difference. Since the last time I posted here, things have changed. New jobs, moving, vacations, good times, and bad times – there’s almost always an excuse.
“This will be the year!”
Imposter syndrome has a strong hold on me. I don’t feel like I’m an actual writer. I think that I’m just fooling everyone, including myself, that I’m a writer and I’m a fraud. But what makes this year different?
What makes this year’s NaNoWriMo any different than all the failed attempts the previous years? I wish I knew. I wish it was easy to tell you why I think this year will be different. Is it the influx of writing buddies this year? Is it for the fact I’ve actually bought a book on how to write a book in a month? I need to actually write. It’s tough because doubts, work, and other reasons are why I probably couldn’t make it again this year. And yet, I keep trying. I keep wanting to try and to trick myself into winning. But there shouldn’t be any tricks involved, should there?
I attempted Camp NaNoWriMo earlier this year but didn’t get that far. Depression caught up with me again. Imposter syndrome was at the wheel again.
I love to write and if I could be called a writer, then that would be amazing. This year isn’t much different from the years before but… I’ve got to try.